I have been on dates with many different men, all very different… Different personalities, jobs, lifestyles, bank accounts and looks. Yet it seems there is one recurring similarity all these men seem to share.
They have become what I dub the ‘modern man’. Chilvry is a thing of the past and dating has become more of a ‘hook up’. Dinner and a movie is a rare event instead we get texts asking for a casual drink on a Friday after work with his mates.
Men have lost the confidence to call, they take the easy way out knowing texting has now become the accepted form of communication. Many younger women in their 20’s haven’t even experience a real date… the casual hook up is becoming the new date.
With less one on one communication do you ever truly get to know someone?
Men who understand the importance of picking up the phone are far and few in-between…. This is why single women in there mid twenties to early thirties are out numbering the single blokes. We have high expectations that aren’t being met.
Unfortunately for the modern man monogamy is a thing of the past. Gone are the days of ‘until death do us part’. It’s been replaced with ‘until I find someone better’. Turn your back for a minute and your man is already lining up his next target. Even the most faithful of men in the most loving relationships. Dangle the bait and they can’t say no.
It is a vicious circle … no effort from men, means more single women… which gives the men in relationships more temptation to cheat…
Of course there are exceptions to the rule… but as women we need to stand strong with what we believe in and never settle for less.
Chivalry still exists!! Us smart men use it often since we are a dying breed 🙂
I hear ya, sister! Wanna hear something crazy? A man found me via online dating…he CALLED to talk, stating he found it more personal than texting. THEN he took me on a date to a very fancy restaurant and followed up with me a few days after requesting another. Well, I was so uncomfortable with the whole situation it just turned me off! He was so different from what I was used to….ok, I’ll also blame all the FWBs I’m collecting for jacking up the experience, but honestly I felt like being spoiled a little and treated politely felt a little off….like it was too high class for comfort….and yet…..THAT’S HOW I WANT TO BE TREATED!! I don’t get myself sometimes…And to top if off, the guy looks great on paper. Everything is right with him qualification-wise. So why don’t I like him?
Gosh so true… I know the feeling, you feel like you’re meant to like them because they treat you well and they look great on paper. We have become so accustomed to being treated poorly that when we get too much attention it’s a turn off. We can’t win!
Or he can’t….lol. I want to go out with him again because I feel bad for not liking him like I should….but Lord knows that won’t make anything better…
That is so very sad but I think if you push yourself beyond your comfort zone and expect the best and accept nothing less then you will get over the uncomfortable feeling of being treated with the dignity and respect that you deserve. Good luck on your journey.
*after a couple of dates I’m not even remotely…
Ladies teach your sons chivalry and the “old ways” because your daughters deserve more than the “modern man”! And jodeybear … don’t feel bad for not liking him. You cannot control your feelings and if you have to search for them, they are not good enough. But that does not mean that you need to settle for a “modern man” … hold out for the guy who looks good on paper, who wants to talk to you, and who makes your heart skip a beat! He is out there!
Would be interesting to hear your take on ‘The Modern Woman’ – I think they too exist although perhaps there are fewer of them!
Have a read of my new post’the modern woman’ … I wrote it especially for you!
Sadly, I understand what you mean by the “modern man” phenomenon. It’s pitiful. There are decent ones amid the ruins, so keep on keeping on until you find some. Guys think they can get away with buying a couple drinks and that’s enough to get them laid. Then they’re onto the next. Sadly, it must work often enough. Women need to put the bar back where it belongs.
I completely agree!!! What the deal with men? Its the reason why I mostly date older men… Some people think that’s gross… He may be older but at least he knows how to take care of women. He holds the door open for me all the time and takes to dinners and movies and.. well drinks too. He is great. I
I dated a younger guy (or I should say one my age) and all they want to do is party party party or play video games or smoke pot!
Cannot really complain! All very true for the majority of us menfolk, unfortunately. Yet your post on the modern woman rings very true as well, to a hapless romantic like myself! I wrote a letter to a modern woman whom I’d liked for a number of years, detailing my feelings. To which she texted me asking if it was me who sent it (I sent it anonymously), and when I said yes she completely blocked me from her life for EIGHT MONTHS! I thought it was a little harsh..
Anyhow, loving the blog! Thanks for reading my work 🙂
I just want to say that…what i think
No one is right for everyone and there is always Someone that is just perfect for Any one 🙂
So just wait for that someone special to get into your life instead of dating blindly
may be he or she is modern or NOT but he/she is just perfect for us