The Third Wheel

the third wheel

Is it ever ok to be a third wheel on a date? Or is it ok to have a third wheel accompany you on a date?

There is always a time and a place…. and depending on which stage in the relationship or dating faze you’re in the answer to those questions may be very different.

I say YES to a third wheel when it is a casual get together… drink… maybe a 4th date (if you have to)…

I say NO when it is the first, second or third date…. There is a line… and it needs to be drawn.

Last week I was asked out on a date… it started out quite well. I wasn’t really feeling up to going, the weather was bad and it had been a long day. So I tried to get out of the date as us women often do when we are only semi interested.

The guy was so keen he sent a hire car to pick me up from my house and take me to the restaurant. I thought that was nice and a very generous gesture, one which I couldn’t refuse. So I got dressed and jumped into the hire car. The car dropped me at a bar where I was met by my date. Very nice, cute guy….I was still not overly interested but it was better than staying at home alone.

We were enjoying a drink when his friend turns up…. it was ok at first but then he didn’t leave… they laughed at their own inside jokes and I felt like the third wheel.

I was copping being the third wheel because I didn’t want to be rude and I secretly was happy that I didn’t have to fake an interesting conversation with my date.

The friend then accompanied us to dinner… and that is when it got even more awkward. My dates friend started talking about strip clubs, how much he likes them and how we should head to one after dinner?!?!?!

I quickly finished my meal and jumped a cab. never to see either of them again.

What baffles me is the guy I was meant to be on a date with called me the following week asking me out again… It made me realise that some men just have no clue. I never saw him again.

I think as women it is important that when we feel uncomfortable in a situation we realise it is ok to say no and it is ok to stand our ground and not compromise what we want or how we feel.

So I ask you, is it ok to be a third wheel on your own date????

x

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5 thoughts on “The Third Wheel

  1. That is truly bizarre…what is wrong with these people? I was thinking of adding a little printable card with my blog URL onto my page, so people could subtly leave them at horrendous dates such as these….maybe I should after reading that x

  2. That’s horribly rude and ballsy! Especially since he didn’t even think that you might be uncomfortable or even acknowledge that it was weird to invite his friend. That’s crazy. I would never have done it, because I only think of the right thing to say after the fact, but I wish you had called him on his bullshit move at the time! I would love to know his reaction! That sucks though, I’m sorry!

  3. No, it’s not okay to be the third wheel on your own date. It was rude of the gentleman who asked you out to allow his friend to accompany you two to dinner.

    He should have been more interested in you than chatting about strip clubs and things of that nature with his buddy.

    Sometimes dating is like car shopping. You have to know how to spot a lemon before you buy. This guy showed he was a lemon. Keep dating and you will know when you have come across the right one.

    Good luck,

    Carrie

    Our latest relationship post: http://singlesscoreboard.com/2013/04/22/too-busy-to-date/

  4. No, those are the worst. From my experience though, when a guy’s friend shows up on the date and STAYS: he’s really not that into you. I do agree with the standing our ground business. I tend to continue to do things I really don’t want to or going out with people I’m not all that interested in, for god knows what reason. Lol.

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