When writing about dating it is hard to know where to start… I have been single for two years and in that time I would of been on more than 50 dates. Sounds like a lot but that is less than 1 a fortnight.

The next date I am going to share with you is one I like to call ‘Had to be there’. I call it this because at the time it felt like it was one of the worst dates I had ever experienced….in hindsight the whole situation was quite comical.

So here goes…

I met Sam one night at a house party in Bondi, Sydney… He seemed nice and quite good looking. He asked for my number so I gave it to him.

A few days later he called me and asked me over to his house for dinner. I thought that was rather forward for a first date, but accepted nether the less.

I always have the opinion that if a man asks you to his house for dinner they want more than dinner (I think any male would back me up). If I could give you any advice it would be not to have a home cooked meal as your first date…

…anyway…

A few days later the evening arrived. I was meant to be at his house at 7pm but arrived at 6:50pm to be punctual. As I was parking my car I heard a kerfuffle across the road.

I looked over to see Sam (my date) having a confrontation with a much bigger guy. They were throwing punches. I ran across the road to see what was going on… The bigger guy was yelling about the groceries which were strewn all over his manicured garden. There were broken eggs, tomatoes and a whole bunch of other groceries on the ground.

To this day I am not entirely sure why they were throwing punches but there must have been some built up history between them.

Anyway… my date was on the ground bleeding from his nose (seriously!?!?!). I picked him up and took him to his apartment.

We walked into the apartment and things went from bad to worse.

His apartment was basically a squatters nest.

I have an open mind when it comes to most things but this was ghastly. There were bunk beds in the lounge room…as well as in two of the bedrooms. There must of been about 4 people sleeping in each bedroom and another four sleeping in the lounge room.

There were beer bottles lying on the floor… there was so much rubbish and junk on the balcony you could barely see out… there were cigarette butts on the ground and the ashtrays were over flowing not to mention the strong cigarette smoke stench.

In a nutshell I don’t think the place had been cleaned for 10 years…  I learnt that you can never truly know a man until you see where he lives.

After I had cleaned his face from all the blood that was now beginning to dry on it. I pulled out a bottle of wine.. my date scrounged around for some odd wine glasses that also looked like they hadn’t been cleaned in 10 years.

After realising the wine wasn’t a screw top he informed me he didn’t have a bottle opener! (what twenty something person doesn’t have a cork screw)

He then had decided it would be a good idea if I drove to buy a bottle opener?!?!?! I politely agreed not wanting to be rude.

Let me remind you this is a FIRST DATE…

I got to my car and all I could do was cry.. I bawled my eyes out, hysterically crying. Looking back i am not sure why I wasn’t laughing but I was so overwhelmed by the fight, then the pigsty, then the cork screw that I didn’t know what else to do.

I called my friend crying and explained what had happened… with a five minute pep talk I pulled my self together drove to the nearest bottle shop and bought a cork screw.

Part of me really didn’t want to go back, but I really didn’t want to be rude and I kind of felt sorry for the poor guy.

I drove back and we ate overcooked chicken sitting on the dirty couch (he didn’t have a dining table due to crammed in bunk beds).

After all that went down he still thought he had a chance at making a move, with a bleeding nose and all. I made it quite clear no funny business would be happening and it was time for me to go.

I left and never saw him again.

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Todays Dating Tips

Never accept a home cooked meal as a first date.

If your date asks you to leave to get a cork screw…run and never go back!

Crying can help you feel better